party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
from now on my penis is your penis
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Randomize
