life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Randomize
