Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
