She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
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