p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
