There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
