i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Randomize
