I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
Randomize
