i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
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