Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
you have to choose: penises or morals?
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
Randomize