I only kidnapped one of them. chill
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
