sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
Randomize
