some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
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