oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
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