1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
Randomize
