woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
The cops high fived after they tackled you
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
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