So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
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