She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize
