Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
