Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
only you would photoshop your dick
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
Randomize
