honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
My first STD was from a foam party
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
Randomize
