The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
Randomize
