i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
Randomize
