From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
I see more hoeing in ur future
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