when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
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