Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize
