I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
ttyl tear gas
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
Randomize
