what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
Randomize
