phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
