you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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