It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
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