I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
Randomize
