Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Randomize
