This girl is more easily done than said...
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
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