It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
Buhtt sex?
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
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