The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
Randomize
