he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
Randomize