I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
Randomize
