im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
Randomize
