I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
Randomize
