i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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