She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
I need a hoe opinion
go on
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
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