Your tits are I can't wait for
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Randomize
