btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
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