just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
Randomize
