STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
Randomize
