Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
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