Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
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