oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
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