theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
