it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
Randomize
