The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
bring money and cleavage
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
Randomize
