one might say we're banned from that church
Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
Randomize
