So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
