I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
Randomize
