shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
