I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Randomize
