real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
Randomize
